Pick Me Pick Me! (No don't pick me)

Channeling evening where I was given a message by Djwhal Khul on 24th June.

So I had by now, had been doing a lot of what my friends call weird spiritual stuff. From past life regression, ascension workshops, started seeing things, feeling things and learning about all things metaphysical.  I noticed also that I started drifting away from my 'muggle' friends.  (A term used in the Harry Potter books - not that I don't think that my friends are not magical, they just don't see it yet!)

I tried to explain what I had been up to with a few friends, but felt like I ended up with egg on my face.  The first time I heard myself trying to explain what I had learnt and thought 'uh-oh' you sound like a nut.  I had failed to explain it all and felt a bit stupid and hurt.  It was at a particular dinner with a couple of old work collegues. One of them in particular is super intelligent and I had been explaining about Reiki and how wonderful it has been and that I had felt great.  Then he asked the question...how does it work? Which I failed miserably as I mumbled something about quantum physics as I knew he liked to know the 'mechanics'. But then got challenged by him as his brain works differently to mine and can articulate things quicker than I can say 'Deepak Chopra' then he went on to say 'I can understand how you might like to believe in all that' ...which translates as 'Oh dear, you're going through that phase of grasping onto and believing in all that bullshit...but if it makes you feel better, you do what you gotta do and will come back to normality soon.  Just don't go down that creationist road right?'

Well that was it, I felt like was stuck.  I was going through this major transformation of changing my belief system and all I felt like doing was hiding from the world. My new belief system was being challenged I was finding it difficult to hang out with my 'muggle' friends as I felt like I had to 'get my facts right' so then I could stand my ground.

Anywho, I went along to another channeling evening so I can hang out with my spiritual friends.  This workshop was held by Paul McCarthy which is well attended.  He channels through messages from Angels, Ascended Masters and beings from other Star Systems which is absolutely awesome!  There were about 30 people I think in that session and Paul did say he is able to give messages to people but not enough time for everyone but will pick whoever he is drawn to.  So everyone was asked to prepare a question...

Question, question, think of a question. I can't think of a question, all I can think of was that dinner with my 'muggle' friends....

'Lily! You have a question?' Paul says and everyone is looking at me.
'Whah? Er, do I? No I don't actually. Sorry.' I reply sheepishly
'Anyway let's see what messages Djwahl Khul has is for you' Paul proceeds..

Well the message for me was about relationships changing with others!! How my relationships have changed and that this conflict does not resonate with me. I am observing and questioning the relationships I have with other people and feel like I need to move away from old friends.  I will find the balance soon (thank goodness!) I might feel like this for 6 months maybe 2 years.  But I am to open my heart to unconditional love.  Apparently I am beginning to see others pain/causes of their hurt more easily.  I have grown immensely in a short space of time and I am healing in all senses of the word.  I have to let go of my internal blocks and let go of my ego.

Wowsers.  Cool.

[28/12/10] I can safely say that I feel like I have found that balance and letting go of that ego!  It does not have to be as clear cut between the 2 sides as I previously thought.  But to integrate where I can.  I felt like I had to be some spiritual leader and 'know it all' before I was ready to tell people all the wonderful things I have learnt. I think my friends are glad I'm back as it were. I don't feel like I need to preach, but I am there to guide and support them in the best way I know how.  If they ask about the magical stuff, then I am happy to talk about it.  I don't feel like I need to be the know it all anymore. Just a little of what I have learnt I know now goes a long way. I know who I am now!  Yay!